It’s fair to love oneself, love all the flaws and glitches of the personality. Some people do it relatively lesser, others do it a little extra and a handful of people just do it the right amount. There is no harm if you fit in either of the three.
However, it becomes a hitch when it is done excessively and unreasonably. It can also become a medical condition. Such human specimen is known as a narcissist, an egoist. It is difficult to have a conversation with these people as such people like to talk about themselves more. The tete-tete is generally one-sided and the other person usually gets a mix of frustration and it rubs the wrong. It gets worse if such a personality type is your mother, father or the person you are dating.
Henceforth are the ways to handle a narcissist:
- Spot a narcissist
- Be a good listener
Remember they presumptively are not looking for lots of inputs and advocacy so refrain the urge of providing them one. They will eventually feel at ease with you and put their guard off little by little.
- Put your needs forward too
Its overwhelming being with a narcissist and it is highly likely your mind is predominantly occupied understanding them. In such cases, it is organic to put your needs out of the window. Sooner or later it will take a toll on you and the relationship you share with that person.
- Subtly imply your disagreement and opinions
One needs to make compromises and take a back seat while dealing with a narcissist. But if it is clashing with your fundamental self and principles convey it to them. Do it in less aggressive and intense tone. For eg. If you are busy at work and cannot talk to the person, faintly tell them you cannot wait to get back home from the hectic day at work. This would not put him/her away.
- Accept the fact you cannot change them
You need to know it is difficult for a narcissist to open up and wholly trust people. They do not even consider the sermons and guidance of people. Narcissists tend to be strong headed and independent and immensely stubborn. It will land you up in muds of frustration to try and change them.
- Stay positive
You should never feel handling them as a burden. It should be inherent. Avoid seeing them as a victim and acknowledge the differences among you both. Focus on the positives of the other person. Maybe being so confident and opinionated attracted you towards them at first place. Embrace it.
- Seek professional help
Sometimes a narcissist is a byproduct of either or both likewise parents. It is difficult to understand a person in adulthood when it routes to some unresolved issues due to such parents in childhood.
Consider seeking a professional help in the form of psychotherapy or cognitive behavioral therapy.
This post is written by Shreshtha who is an aspiring author.
This post is submitted to CentreStage through the Write, Share and Win contest.
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